twigp's Xanga

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 00:05:54 GMT

So I did it, I broke down, I just couldn't take it anymore, all that pressure, I'm sorry everyone, I'm sorry xanga...I turned on you all....I...I opened a facebook...check it out!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:43:02 GMT

Since this is rarely read, and that its basically a journal anyway...eh whatever I'm rationalizing because I want to talk openly and I don't often allow myself that freedom.. Anyway, I'm really stressed out. No one big thing needs fixing, I'm just tired. It feels like people are becoming so much more needy and teachers think that you have nothing else going on in your life except their class so they think they can keep you busy until you come back into their class... I haven't gotten my student loans that I was supposed to get a month ago, and so many people try to cash in when you absolutly need them not to.. And I feel like I have to be a responsible adult all the time, partly because a certian man in my life is not and then partly because I have such an incredibly worry prone nature. I wish I could have time to BE the things I used to like about myself, like happy, relaxed, spontanious.. fun...anything other than constantly in a hurry and never measuring up..some people do try to help, but he gives me what he would give himself, not what I want him to give.. but its not his fault. And I wish I had friends that my friendship with them was not contingeniout on me giving them what they want.. Like people that just like to be around, share connection, that sort of thing.. I feel like I'm useless to people unless they want some thing from me. Be mostly I just want to complain I guess.. to talk about how I feel, it helps somehow..I guess even when no one is listening. My life really is good, I just need to release my frustrations sometimes, I need to have time when I'm not constantly worring about everything...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:35:49 GMT

EXCITING NEWS!!! Clarity can Crawl!!

Also, in other news, I'm now officially a UCM student...and so is Dan...

I recently had the most stressful days of my life so far... Long story (kinda), to do with school, daycare, money, husbands, english teachers, a HBO documentary, no sleep,ear infections.. mostly a great mixture of these elements..But I think everything is mostly worked out now.

School is cool, but its Clarity who has taking control of me and Dans lives...

And we're both very glad she did...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:47:32 GMT

Sometimes a goal is set, a path designated, a decision made, and then every thing opposing that decision arrives unexpected, everything seems to be working against that decision. It feels like the world is all in on one big joke..a big joke on you, and your always waiting for someone to pop out and laugh telling you, 'hey we were just kidding, its all over now'..but they never do and then you begin to realize that no ones playing, it actually is all working against you, the universe just dosen't want you to succeed or maybe it just dosen't care and somehow it just got set up this way, and that it is trying to smash as much of you as it can...what can you do struggle to push yourself out from under a weight you know you'll never be able to lift or just let it happen...or is letting it happen what takes the real strength? Will anyone ever know...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 18:44:06 GMT

So my Camera broke.... so these will probably be the last pictures for a while.

So here is my adorable baby.

And here is my georgous baby.

I went to a totally awesome concert this past weekend. Probably the first 'real' rock concert Dan says, that I've ever been to. Motion City Soundtrack, I must say is one of my favorite bands. When we were walking out Dan bumped into the lead singer and gave him a hug.

Here is us before and during the concert, Where I think I sweat more during those few hours than I've sweat in my whole life, combined.

So this is the lead singer from Motion City Soundtrack, Justin. Right before my camera took its last camera breath.

Dan cut and highlighted my hair for me, I tried to dye Dans hair red just for the concert but it turned out a faint purplish-burgundy.

Clarity is getting so big. She always wants to stand up, she tries to crawl but just gets frustrated and wants to stand up.

One more week till we move to Warrensburg. I'm pretty excited, not necessary about Warrensburg but about getting back into school and finally taking the classes I'm interested in and not just required stuff I'll never remember anyway.

Anyways thats about it for now. Not like anyone ever reads this anyway..

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 21:16:41 GMT

I know, I know it seems a little obsessive but I can't help it, shes just so darn cute.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 15:36:47 GMT

I admit, I like pictures.. I don't really update on here unless I have some pictures to put up. Plus Clarity is just so darn cute. She seems to get more cute and fun everyday.. Also me and Dan started this new idea where we go on a date every friday and we take turns picking what we do, so last week we went to a contemporary art museum and this is what we did last night.. You can probably guess who picked what.

Also, everyone should check out Brett Dennen, me and Dan saw him in concert and he is well worth promoting.

Happy Mothers Day!

Sun, 13 May 2007 19:43:54 GMT

Today is my first mothers day, I didn't really think anything of it but Dan and his mom went in and bought me a massage at a spa, which is totally awesome and I can definatly use, so I think I like I'm gonna like mothers day alot more now!!

Its funny how people think babies are defined but whatever color clothes they are wearing, not what style or anything, just what color. I was sitting here at the libary with Clairity and she is wearing a baby blue dress with butterflies on it ( the same one sh'e wearing in the picture)and a lady and her daughter came up and thought she was a boy...doesn't matter that she's wearing a Dress with Butterflies.. Just that its blue so it must be a boy.

Clairity said her first word just now, she said "hi" right after I said it to her, but I'm not sure she realized it so maybe it doesn't count, but if she doesn't have intentionaly say the word then her first word would actuilly be "goo" .

Also anyone who want to come, Longviews Graduation is this friday at 8pm

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 19:29:29 GMT

Clarity is starting to have some personality now, this morning she woke us up when she was yelling at the ceiling fan in her own native language..We have long conversations now, mostly consisting of ooh's,ahh's, and mixtures of the two. She is adorable and I love seeing her be fascinated with the most unusual things.

My summer has begun with easily the worst sunburn I've ever had, I signed up for fall classes at UCM, and I just finished watching "The Holiday" which made me realize that the best movies are the ones that can't be defined as 'Guy Movies' or 'Chick Flicks' because they are the most realistic, rather than chick flicks and guy movies who seem to show the opposite sex as only what guys or chicks want to see them as.

I like being married, and I also like being a mother, but not just for the good things about them, they both bring all new challenges I never could have imagined before. I'm realizing that nothing is ever going to be perfect, so if I spend all my time waiting for the right moment, nothing is ever going to satisfy me. Its well worth it to realize that everything is already perfect, just the way that it is.

Cmsu..Umc...UCM..whatever

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 22:00:47 GMT

So I just got a text message that says I'm admitted to UCM which I think I will probably always call CMSU, its just stuck in my head that way, and it rolls of the tongue easier as well... Anways, things are good, I'm going into Corporate Fitness.. hopefully I can make being a employee, student, wife and mother all work together nicely. Not quite sure how yet but I think it will work out. Dans going to start at CM I mean UCM too.. I think he'll be an excellent Psychologist.. I honestly don't like Warrensburg but moving is exciting and I think I'll get used to it.

Clarity is getting so big, she's starting to have some personality, she smiles and laughs and tries to talk.

Welp, thats about it, just a quick update of whats happening in the life of Katy.

I graduate this semester all you old choir folk should come if you can, it would be cool to see everyone.